So the year is drawing to a close and the year, once again, feels like it has flown by. 2016 has opened my eyes to new things. I feel older, but that's cause I AM older. There's been changes, and there's been good and bad in the year. I've met people who made my year better, I've lost one or two along the way, grown closer to some and drifted apart from some. For the first time I feel like I let life harden me, in the more unfeeling kinda manner. And what scares me a lil is the fact that I don't even think it's necessarily a bad thing.
Growing up, we all had this ideal picture painted in our heads about the world but unfortunately the truth cannot be further from that. The world ain't just black and white, neither is it made up of just good or bad people. It's not always just yes or no, or wrong or right. Sometimes things get complicated. But sometimes it's only complicated when you want it to be. Sometimes as an adult, life is about making a decision and living with it. No one can make you do the things you don't want to.
I've learnt that you only get to know people as much as they let you, and people can hurt you as much as you allow them to. That unfortunately, not everyone says what they mean and means what they say. I've learnt that sometimes it's the people you least expect to hurt you who hurt you most. I've learn that what people say about others says a lot about they themselves. Always remember that at the end of the day, all you got is yourself, because when it's 3 in the morning and you find yourself in pieces, you're the one who's going to have to peel yourself off the floor and find the strength to move on. I used to think that I could never lose anyone if I photographed them enough but in fact, my photos show me how much I've lost. I've learnt that you need to let people earn your trust instead of just handing it over to them. Don't waste time on people who wouldn't give you the time of day.
I've also learnt that people who have been with you in the past may not necessarily be there in your future, and as upsetting as that may be, that's okay. Because that's just how it is. Be thankful for even the passersby in your life. You win some, you lose some. But sometimes, just sometimes, don't burn bridges- leave that door open. Because you never know what can happen in a decade's time, even if nothing is happening now. A friend is better to have than a foe. I've learnt that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, that you just have to walk through it.
As cliche as it is, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And even if the scars may remain, time still heals all wounds. That when you're at rock bottom, the only way is up. Even when things seem most bleak, have faith. Tell yourself that everything is going to be alright, and try your damned best to believe it, even when it is hard. Love yourself and never lose sight of who you are. Make mistakes, but learn from them. Be nice, but don't let people trample all over you. Forgive, but never forget. Get comfortable, but don't take anything for granted. Always be nice first, because you can always be mean later. Metaphorically- never throw the first punch. If you have to throw the second, make sure they don't get up for a third. Don't be too quick to judge- just cause you were in someone else's chapter of their book doesn't mean you know the rest of their story. Don't be afraid to be different, don't expect people to understand everything. People change. Sometimes, a defining moment is all it takes to change someone. Always take a deep breath before you speak when you're upset, because words can only be forgiven, not forgotten. Words carry more power than you think, sometimes one word is enough to start or end something and everything. Be the bigger person, you don't always have to have the last word. Put your ego aside for things that matter. Nobody is going to be around forever. Sometimes, a moment lost is a moment that you will never be able to recreate. Life is too short for regrets, so live well, love harder and laugh loudest.
That said, I hope everyone who's reading this has had a good year. If you didn't it's cool too 'cause hey the year is almost over and here's to a better 2017. *raises wine glass*
